God Bless America ???

Many progressives watched this past weekend’s rally in Washington, D.C. with considerable trepidation, fearing the worst, having seen similar rallies in the recent past. But at this rally, there seemed to be very little anger, and virtually none of the overt racism and the allusions to violent political solutions that have characterized many recent similar gatherings. The sighs of relief emanating from the supporters of President Obama and others on the left side of the playing field were palpable. But I found no solace in the right-wing love fest that was “Restoring Honor 2010.” I am deeply troubled by the overall theme that emerged from this gathering, and the danger that theme presents for the future of American democracy, our treasured political system that has somehow managed to survive, on occasion bent but unbroken, for more than two centuries. The theme of the day was not, as expected, the demonization of President Obama and his agenda, but rather, the theme seemed to center on “bringing America back to Jesus.” This theme frightens me far more than the right wing’s usual cries of “Socialist” or “Communist” or “Fascist” or any other “ist” that they can dredge up from the near or distant past, and then misapply to the current situation. Sometimes these geniuses even reconcile the irreconcilable, calling the president a communist AND a fascist in the same breath. What’s next, obese anorexics? But…I digress.

What’s wrong with bringing America back to Jesus? Well…a lot. In 1979, the Iranian Revolution brought Iran back to Allah, and we all know how well that has worked out, not only to the detriment of the civilized world in general, but most of all, to the great detriment of the Iranian people. I’ll grant you…they were not all that well off under the thumb of the (American influenced) Shah and his SAVAK secret police, but at least most aspects of Iranian daily life were not subject to religious law and the dictates of seventh century supernatural storytelling. Iran was (like America) a pluralistic society, with vibrant Christian, Jewish, Baha’i, and other communities woven into the tapestry that was modern Iran. Those days are long gone. Today Iran is an unapologetic theocracy, with all of the primitivism that such systems impose. And the non-Islamic Iranians? They’re not Iranians any more.

Could that happen here? Well…that seemed to be the overriding theme of this past weekend’s rally. Could we see religious law imposed in America? Like it or not, we are seeing just that. Almost without exception, attacks on such things as reproductive choice, LGBT rights, and other such areas that run counter to traditional Christian religious teachings come from the would-be theocrats…the Palins, the Becks, and the other opportunistic religious and nominally religious nut-jobs that seem to feel that a cruciform litmus test is a requirement for full access to the American dream. Do I think that most Christians feel that way? Of course not. Most Christians want to have regular, secular lives, practice their faith when and where it is appropriate, and offer that faith to their children. Even a non-believer like me can go along with that. But when you get together and try to impose your supernatural belief system, whatever it is, onto an entire nation, only problems can result. You can’t really vote such a thing into being either. In a nation like ours, the rights of a few (minorities, women, the poor, children, the sick, etc.) must not be determined by the vote of the majority. Would slavery have ended when it did if put to the direct vote of the people? As Benjamin Franklin (not known for his deep faith) is purported to have said: “Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.”

I have nothing against Christianity, and nothing but love for Christians. Following Jesus’ example has brought a lot of good to this world. I just don’t want our nation controlled by ANY religious doctrine, no matter how loving, no matter how benign. The very same Christians who protest loudly restrictions imposed by the “State Religion” of Islam in places like Saudi Arabia and Iran are perfectly in okay with those who wish to install Christianity as the “State Religion” here in the United States.

So if you don’t like the president, or progressives, or minorities, or atheists, or reproductive choice, or limitations on assault rifles, or environmental regulations, or homosexuals, or immigrants, or anything else for that matter…fine. Sit around and pray all day every day for whatever it is that you want. But leave me out of it, and get off America’s case. We would be just fine (much better, actually) without your input. From my understanding of the scriptures, Jesus would probably prefer to be left out of it too. He was never much into politics, after all. He even told Pilate “my kingdom is not of this world” when he was asked about that “King of the Jews” thing. If Jesus wants to be left out of earthly political affairs, who are you to contravene his wishes? He’s got a lot more important things to do than listen to you and Sarah and Glen whine. There are children to protect, illnesses to cure, marriages to look after, animals to care for, old folks to honor, a planet to save and so very much more. That dude’s BUSY. Leave him alone, let him do his job, and thank him when you can and if you care to.

Israel, Palestine and the Neocons…

Washington Post opinion columnist Charles Krauthammer has again written a pro-Israel column, this time in support of the Gaza Blockade. For the sake of full disclosure, I support Israel, and I support the blockade, even though some of the prohibitions (Coriander, Cilantro, Sage…forbidden, Cinnamon…NOT forbidden) seem pretty silly, not to mention inconsistent. I support the blockade because all of those rockets fired into Israel had to get into Gaza somehow, and since some time ago two “aid” ships carrying similar munitions were stopped and the munitions seized, I think the blockade is a good idea. Our government here at home has adopted a “fight ‘em over there so we don’t have to fight ‘em over here” policy. And the Israelis would rather fight ‘em on the high seas than on the Israeli border, or in Israeli territory. And if the terrorists (and no…not all Palestinians are terrorists) are so concerned about Palestinian well being, let them stop using schools, hospitals, and other civilian structures as places to hide out and to launch their rockets, thinking (correctly, I’m sorry to say) that using such structures will keep the Israeli response to a minimum.

And who really thinks that a medium sized vessel with approximately 700 “activists” aboard was all about “aid supplies?” It was designed as a provocation from the get-go…never intended to be anything else, and the radical right-wingers who currently lead Israel took the bait. When you have a large, well equipped navy, why not just force the ship with all aboard into port and deal with it there? There is plenty of stupidity to go around here on both sides of the issue. But does that mean that a naval blockade is, by its very definition, inappropriate here? I think not.

But this blog posting is not a defense of the blockade or of the state of Israel. And it is not a condemnation of the Palestinian people, or even a condemnation of most of the folks on board the Mavi Marmara. Most of the approximately 700 on board were, I believe, well intentioned if somewhat misguided. But as in most situations like this, I also suspect that some of the more radical elements may have slipped in among the others, and intentionally provoked this confrontation, hoping to precipitate an incident in order to gain international attention and sympathy. If in fact that was the case, they certainly succeeded.

My main purpose in this posting is to examine why a number of Jewish intellectuals, including Charles Krauthammer, are so un-nuanced in their support of seemingly every policy and program that any right-wing Israeli official proposes and/or implements, no matter how extreme. Israel has as much of a divide between left and right as we do. Centrist Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin was assassinated in 1995 not by an “Arab terrorist” but by a (right-wing) Jewish-Israeli terrorist. We all got ‘em.

Krauthammer, Norman Podhoretz, Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle, and all the other right wing neocon crackpots who happen to claim to be Jewish are, in reality, carrying water for the radical evangelical Christian right. The Evangelicals support Israel because, and ONLY because, an independent state of Israel with a REBUILT TEMPLE is a biblical precondition for Armageddon and the “Second Coming.” Of course the idea that there will be no Jews left after this happens (if you believe this silliness) doesn’t seem to concern these guys. Do you REALLY believe that (right wing evangelical) George W. Bush’s nearly unconditional support of Israel and its policies was because he loves Jews? If you DO believe that, I’ve got a three bedroom house in Israel, only a stone’s throw (literally) from Gaza that I’d like to sell you. The right wing Jews are using the Evangelicals, and the Evangelicals are using the right wing Jews. And the rest of us are in the crossfire.

During the Holocaust, most every concentration camp had its Kapos, Jewish guards who, in return for favors, most significantly the favor of being left alive, guarded their fellow Jews. And after the war, surviving prisoners reported that often the Kapos were far more cruel to them than the German guards. Just because someone claims to be a Jew doesn’t give him a pass, and it doesn’t mean that he necessarily has the best interests of other Jews at heart. There are all kinds of Jews out there…and the neocons are not my kind.

Bastards all around…

Not that I have a strong opinion here…

And by the way…the fact that a mosque (“The Dome of the Rock”) marking an Islamic holy site (and housing, ironically, the Foundation Stone, the holiest site in the world for Jews) sits atop the hill where the Temple is supposed to be rebuilt hasn’t helped matters. The Christians want the Muslims out so the Jews will rebuild the Temple as proscribed to allow for their long-awaited “Second Coming.” As you might expect, the Muslims are not “on board” with this. It’s not that they don’t like Jesus…it’s just that they aren’t looking forward to seeing him. And yet again, Like poor Prime Minister Rabin (a Nobel Peace Prize recipient), the moderate Jews who just want to mind their business and get on with their lives are caught in the middle.

So if you evangelical nut-cases and your right wing Jewish sycophants want Jesus back, figure out something else. Stop “helping” Israel. Stop using Jews like Charles Krauthammer to fight your battles for you. And stop using American troops as well. I want America to support Israel so that Jews can stop running from country to country, century after century, and finally return to a safe and hospitable place in their ancient homeland. I want America to support Israel because it is in America’s best interests to have a strong and democratic nation as an ally in this difficult part of the world. But I don’t want America to support Israel because a few nut jobs are waiting by the side of the road for Jesus to show up and fix everything. I’m sick and tired of seeing innocent people used as pawns in this silly game of metaphysical, superstitious chess, a game with no possible winners and a non-existent prize.

If they keep up this crap I’m going to demand my foreskin back !!!

Gays in the Military…

I’m disturbed about the continuing discussion regarding gays in the military. It’s not like this is a new controversy. Even the late Barry Goldwater, “Mr. Conservative”, famously said “You don’t have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to shoot straight.” And that was many years ago. So here we are, in 2010, still trailing (again) much of the industrialized world in allowing EVERYONE who wants to serve the nation (and is physically able to do so) to join the military. Why? One of the excuses I’ve seen for this is that straight soldiers will not want to serve with gay soldiers. Now you and I both know that this “reason” comes, at least in part, from the right-wing religious nuts, some of whom seem to have infiltrated our armed forces. Others are “projecting” in a futile attempt to banish their own “unacceptable” urges (“Señor Rekers…table for two…”), and still others are looking for ways to promote the “us-verses-them” environment in which they are the most comfortable, and which yields the greatest financial returns in the plate on Sunday. Why donate unless your money goes to fight a common enemy, whether it’s “Satan” or “The Mooslims” (the offspring of Osama bin Laden and Bullwinkle?) or “The Gays?” And so the cash rolls in. But in reality, there is no legitimate reason for this institutionalized discrimination to have occurred in the first place, let alone a reason why it should continue.

Consider the following case…

Mark Bingham was a graduate of University of California, Berkeley, where he was president of his fraternity and a member of the UCB National Championship rugby team. When United Airlines flight 93 was hijacked, Mark Bingham was on board. He knew from cellphone conversations that planes were being crashed into buildings, and he knew what was coming. He was one of the leaders of the counterattack that caused the plane to crash in rural Pennsylvania, rather than allowing it to be used to “take out” the White House, or the Capitol, or whatever. Everyone on board died…no one on the ground was hurt. At Mark’s memorial service he was eulogized by (of all people) Senator John McCain, who believed that Flight 93 was headed for the Capitol, and so posthumously thanked Mark for possibly saving his life. Mark’s partner, Paul Holm, shared the stage with the senator.

Can you imagine a soldier on night patrol in Afghanistan who would NOT want Mark Bingham next to him? And of course there are now, and there have always been, innumerable gay soldiers and sailors and pilots and…well..you get the idea. When our nation has needed them, gay Americans have stepped forward and answered the call, even though they have had to deny who they are in order to do so. Now, when we need them so much, and are so grateful to them for their service, why do we put them in this awful position? In this country, it should have NEVER been this way. But we can’t rewrite history…we can only stop playing it out over and over again. The gay soldiers currently serving have much in common with straight soldiers. They want to serve their country with honor and pride, keep from being hurt, protect their fellow service members, and get home safely to their families and to their futures. The worst thing that can happen if gay soldiers are allowed to serve openly is that the barracks will be tastefully redecorated and the uniforms will fit better (“desert fatigues are the new black”).

And GET OVER YOURSELVES my fellow straight people! Gay people want to be involved romantically with other gay people, just like you and I want to be involved romantically with other straight people. Gay people are NOT interested in your lush body. You are NOT irresistible. You can’t even count the number of people, both gay and straight, that resist you on a daily basis. Do you ever consciously set yourself up for rejection? If not, then why would you assume that gay folks would? Rejection is unpleasant, and you have to be a fool, gay or straight, to knowingly put yourself in a situation where you know you are likely to be rejected. You are not so amazing that everyone wants you (trust me…you’re not), and even if they do, they’ll leave you alone if they know that you’ll turn them down. That applies to straight people, and that applies to gay people. And this applies both inside and outside of the military.

If we allow men and women to serve together (another piece of good sense that was too long in coming, and which is now accepted as if it had always been so), despite the potential for romantic complications, then we need to do the same with gay people and straight people. And is it just me, or have you noticed that the straight people that are most concerned about being propositioned by gay people are those least likely to be? Nasty, ignorant, prejudiced folks are not usually highly attractive to ANYONE. Not to gay people, not to straight people, and not even to OTHER nasty, ignorant, prejudiced folks. As we all know…REAL ugliness, like real beauty, is on the inside. So like I said…GET OVER YOURSELF…

So it looks like we’re FINALLY going to see this silly “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy die a long overdue death. There will be a few fits and starts along the way, just like there were when President Truman desegregated the military in 1948. And when the new law, if there is one, is put into place allowing gay Americans to serve their country openly, let’s call it “The Mark Bingham Law.” Mark never served in the military, but aboard that doomed plane he bravely volunteered to fight for his country. He died doing so, and may have helped save hundreds or even thousands of lives in the process. And most important, on that awful September morning, the fellow passengers who fought alongside him didn’t care if he was gay or straight. All they cared about was the mission. And I can’t imagine the same not being true when brave young Americans, both straight and openly gay, fight side by side in the future to protect each other and the rest of us. “The Mark Bingham Law” has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

Leviticus Revisited…

It occurs to me that the Book of Leviticus is about due for a bit of an update…something to fill in the gaps…something to bring it more into the twenty-first century…and something to reduce the size of the darn thing…condensing it down to a size that even an ADD-ADHD reader can take in. Don’t thank me…I’m here to help…it’s what I do.

Leviticus (at least in the King James Version of the Bible, which I have renamed the “King Jimmy”, in keeping with my desire to modernize it and increase its accessibility) has twenty-seven chapters, and each chapter has many commands…they really do go on and on. Now, as we all know, here in the twenty-first century, no one has the attention span necessary to pay full heed, line and verse, to the many hundreds of proscriptions and requirements that it contains, so my modern version kind of…sums things up, as well as updates things a bit. However, for the sake of consistency, I think that we need to keep the language about the same as it was.

The first five chapters of Leviticus are primarily about the ritual sacrifice of animals in order to curry favor or to compensate for some transgression. In EXCRUCIATING detail, we find out how each and every acceptable creature is prepared for the sacrifice, how it must be killed, and how the actual sacrifice by fire must be performed. Now I don’t know about you, but with meat prices the way they are today, I’m not setting fire to an entire bull just to get in good with “The Big Guy.” Although on more than one occasion, my barbecue skills have resulted in what appears to be the ritual incineration of a perfectly good ruminant. I’m also concerned, as is appropriate in this day and age, with animal cruelty. My wife has suggested that in order to remain PETA-friendly, these sacrifices should involve huge lumps of tofu, carved to resemble the animal of your choice. On many occasions I’ve tried (unsuccessfully) to eat tofu, and these unpleasant experiences have taught me that we need to use it for something other than food. Setting it on fire seems to me to be a viable alternative.

Chapters Six through Eleven continue to discuss the ritual sacrifice of animals, with some examples of how some of the Bible’s greatest superheroes (still trying to bring this stuff up-to-date) like Moses and his brother Aaron, performed these tasks. By Chapter Eleven, we’re also deeply into the dietary laws. Now remember, if the Bible is the word of God and you want to do the right thing, pay attention here. No pork, no shrimp, no lobster (where was this “No Lobster” rule when I was taking dates out and paying for dinner?), no owl (WHAT!!! NO OWL??? are these people CRAZY??? What am I supposed to EAT???), and so on. And speaking of dating…no oysters are allowed either, so you’re on your own in the bedroom. But if you have a hankerin’ for some locust, or some beetle, or some grasshopper…well you just sit yourself down and dig in! As for those baby back ribs…sorry…not for a God-loving Bible-believer like you. Pass them over here…and that hot sauce too.

Chapter Twelve is all about having kids. If the baby is a boy, the mother is considered “unclean” for one week after giving birth. But if the child is a girl, then the mother is considered “unclean” for TWO weeks. If you’ve ever wondered why women today earn less than men for doing the same job, here’s an historical reference point for you. Chapter Twelve also contains the requirement that, on the eighth day, males must be circumcised. The foreskin of the penis is cut off without the benefit of anesthetic. Many cultural historians believe that originally this requirement reflected a health concern, but I’m not so sure. Maybe some wise, angry Bible-age woman secretly wrote this requirement in there when the guys weren’t looking…just to get revenge on the men for that “two weeks unclean” thing. “Hey Ruth…I’ve got an idea. If men are gonna treat us women like crap, why don’t we trick them into cutting off part of that thing that they’re so damn proud of. That’ll teach ‘em! You distract them. I’ll go get my pen…”

And if you’ve had a vasectomy and your wife gives birth to a child of EITHER gender, “unclean” doesn’t even BEGIN to cover it.

Chapters Thirteen and Fourteen are all about health issues, with a special emphasis on leprosy. Since leprosy is no longer the great concern that it once was, I would suggest using these chapters to promote President Obama’s health plan, including the now-defunct Public Option. If we could somehow sneak this into the Bible, those right-wing religious nuts would have to go along with it, and we could finally get in line with the rest of the civilized world. “And thou shalt not consider pre-existing conditions, nor shall ye cancel coverage when thy policyholders becometh ill.” And “Thy people shall not be left to die because they cannot pay for the surgery that they needeth.”

Chapter Fifteen is about bathing, particularly after sex. Let’s leave this one as is. Okay?

In Chapters Sixteen and Seventeen, we get back to the sacrifice of animals…like we haven’t seen enough of this already. I’m not saying that the priestly class liked lots of free food, but it seems like an awful lot of “unblemished” livestock got cooked up at the ol’ Tabernacle down the street. Of course, the notion of a greedy and self-serving clergy died out many, many years…oh wait…maybe it didn’t die out after all. Maybe we should just update these chapters by saying…”Thou shalt buyest from thy Kroger’s all manner of fish and fowl, and all manner of beast that walketh upon the earth, and, if they be delicious, then thou shalt deliver these things unto the Tabernacle, where the priestly class may dine upon them, in lieu of their having actual jobs.” And while we’re on the subject, “They shalt payeth no taxes like the rest of us doeth, since the Lord so sayeth.” Oh Puh-leeze!!!

Chapter Eighteen talks about sex. It prohibits incest, bestiality, adultery, and male homosexuality. One thing that we need to do here is make Chapter Eighteen more evenhanded by including a prohibition against FEMALE homosexuality. I suggest the following addition: “If thou art a woman thou shalt muncheth not thy neighbor’s carpet, nor shall ye weareth garments of plaid flannel, nor cuteth thy hair into the mullet, nor listeneth to Indigo Girls or to Melissa Etheridge, nor shall ye”…well..you get the idea. This is still a work in progress. And remember, all you good, devout religious folks out there…Leviticus prohibits adultery with just the same intensity as it prohibits male homosexuality. Having an extramarital affair is an offense punishable by death. “Thou shalt plowest not thy neighbor’s field, nor his wife.” How’s that for a rewrite?

Or better still…why don’t we just leave other people alone and focus on our own lives?

In Chapter Nineteen, we’re told not to steal, not to lie, and not to hate. Some good ideas here, although perhaps we need to remind some of our good, God-fearing, conservative right-wing religious nuts about this part, since they seem to forget it so often. Or maybe they just ignore it. So how come they never seem to forget about that gay thing in Chapter Eighteen? Also here we find the ancient antecedent to the Americans with Disabilities Act, when we’re told “Thou shalt not curse the deaf, nor put a stumblingblock before the blind.” People needed to be TOLD this? I guess this is what passed for entertainment in Biblical times…the primitive version of “Punked.” Continuing in Chapter Nineteen…no tattoos allowed, no trimming of the beard allowed, and so on. This might be a good place to add “No Speedos on Fat Guys, so sayeth the Lord.”

Chapter Twenty…Death to adulterers and death to wizards (take that, Harry Potter), Chapter Twenty-one…A Priest may only marry a virgin…Chapter Twenty-two…More ritual sacrifice (!!!)…Chapter Twenty-three…How to schedule sacrifices (“There’s an ‘app’ for that”). Chapter Twenty-four includes the death penalty for murder, and the ol’ “Eye for an Eye” thing. Chapter Twenty-five deals largely with business matters such as the rules of the Sabbath, and Chapter Twenty-six, with the awful punishments from God for religious transgressions, including the ever-popular “if you don’t follow the rules in the first twenty-six chapters, wild animals will eat your children.” Couldn’t God just maybe collect a small fine and require a few hours of community service ??? And last but not least, Chapter Twenty-seven concludes Leviticus with a discussion of property rights, taxing and tithing.

Wow…that’s an awful lot to take in, which is why the updating and the condensing are so important. You know…the more I think about it, the more I think that maybe we ought to summarize ALL of the Bible. I don’t think it would take up much space. How about THIS for a summary:

“Be nice, be kind, tell the truth, show some respect, love one another, mind your own business, don’t hurt others, help the less fortunate, protect your planet, keep your word, have a sense of humor, and DON’T USE GOD AS AN EXCUSE FOR YOUR EVIL WAYS.”

There it is…all you need to know about religion in one line. The new, 46-word Bible. What God worthy of the title wouldn’t be pleased if all of his (or her) people followed these few simple rules?

Next up…the U.S. Constitution, Abridged Edition. Stay tuned…